I'm just gonna say it....

It's my mom...

She still doesn't want anyone to know that knows her because she said it will make them look at her differently... and I'm not trying to be disrespectful to her.   I'm pretty confident that no one that knows her is reading this blog....so I'm just saying it because I need to say it for me...

It's my mom.... 

The woman that comes over to take care of me if I'm sick...

The woman that has shown up for every one of my surgeries even though I'm a grown adult and most of the surgeries are minor...

The woman that spent 8 weeks living with me in Japan just so she could catch the birth of her first grandchild all those years ago...

The woman that took care of 4 little kids after her husband left her and us....



I'm sad for her... I'm sad for me...  I'm sad for her grandchildren...  Each day that I spend with her, I feel the diagnosis is accurate.  God help us.

Deluding myself

So when I called to find out the status of the follow up appointment, I heard upbeat comments like "the GP is going to give me medicine that will slow the process down and most likely will stop it where I am now... I won't get any worse."

So I posted that to other family members thinking "Okay, this is what the doctor said so maybe there has been progress on the disease."  I even stated in my post "She's putting her on medicine that will significantly slow progression down if not stop it all together."

Can I be so hopeful?  If I am hopeful, am I in denial?   And if I'm not hopeful, am I damning her to this awful disease?  Everything I'm reading on the Alzheimer's Association website doesn't look hopeful:

"Currently, there is no cure for Alzheimer's. But drug and non-drug treatments may help with both cognitive and behavioral symptoms."

"Although current medications cannot cure Alzheimer’s or stop it from progressing, they may help lessen symptoms, such as memory loss and confusion, for a limited time. "

I don't want to believe!!!!

"Dear Lord, please take this away.  Please heal her and make her whole.  Please don't take her away from me like this...  In Jesus' name, Amen."