Follow Up Appointment Today

I was "encouraged" to go home before the appointment.  "Spend time with your husband."  "You need to work."  "I am okay, so go take care of your family."  

I'm fighting with my respect for them and their wishes and my need to take control and move into action.  It is hard when you've been taught to obey and respect your elders to know when to gently say "I have to help now so I'm going to not respect your wishes on this..."    While I really wanted to be home, I didn't want to leave.  I wanted to go to their appointment.  But I got the distinct feeling that they do not want me back there yet.  They are still independent and "healthy".   That are still hoping for a misdiagnosis.  They are still thinking that the test is wrong and that there was no way from the way they were tested that it was an accurate test.

And I can say that my last two days there, there seemed to be much less confusion.  They had calmed down and seemed to be able to think a little clearer.  Although there were some episodes.  Sometimes words wouldn't come easily.  There was a struggle to find the right one and I would have to help.

Another example, he/she kept saying "I have to check the calendar for my appointment time" even though we had checked at least three times already. 

Once, when we went to see a movie together, I went to save the seats and he/she went to get the popcorn.  I asked for water, and within seconds of making that request, they forgot what I had asked and got me a diet coke.  I'm no longer drinking diet coke and they know this, but it still did not register.  So there are some signs.

Today is the follow up appointment with the GP.  We are pretty sure that there will be more tests ordered.  I'm hoping that medicine will be prescribed while we waiting for confirmation.  Better safe than sorry.  I've made them promise to tell me the truth from what the GP says.  I think they will honor that.

In the meantime, I continue to pray and am still having trouble finding joy each day.